Trio

Hello, World

Do you love yourself?

Do you love your body?

Have you ever just taken a good long stare in the mirror with the only thought coming to mind being… EW!?

 Well, on behalf of girls everywhere, I will admit to times—mere moments—that I shudder at the sight as my reflection stares me down. Sure, you can remember those little fashion triumphs and personal victories—like fitting into those skinny jeans or being able to retire “the fat pants”—moments where you feel like you have become BFF 4 LIFE with your body. But, more often than not, there is just no love there, and that is exactly the case for someone with negative body image.

Before we ignite this magnificent flame of friendship, let me just clarify: it’s not that I don’t love myself. On the contrary, I love myself a little too much sometimes—thank you very much! The issue is, in this day and age, how is it possible for me to not feel the need to compare my body to others? (Tell me you don't get a little self conscious when you are getting your sweat on at the gym. That's what I thought.) Better yet, how can we not have a distorted perception of “desirable shape and size,” when every female celebrity role model is about as fat as my pinky finger?  Way skinny, right?

According to The National Women’s Heath Information Center, a majority of women feel a compulsive need to meet a particular social and cultural ideal of beauty, the so-called “Barbie-doll like image.” From these past three years living in Los Angeles and going to the “University of Sexy Children” (or University of Southern California) ranked 2^nd hottest student body by popcrunch.com, it feels at times that what you look like is just as important as your IQ. Also, being a sorority girl, I know from first-hand experience that being content with your body is no easy chore—even more so when you constantly feel as if you are being drowned by the sea of other gorgeous, slim girls. Even at football games… Man, I just can’t catch a break! Watching the USC Song Girls, Playboy’s ranked hottest cheerleaders, prance around on the jumbotron makes me just stop and ask, “Hello God, are you there? Can that be me for once?” It is no wonder why so many young women—myself included—have been brainwashed into believing such things as “Size 0 is the new 2, 2 is the new 4 and 6 is the new 14”—a popular quote from the movie The Devil Wears Prada. It has reached the point where eating in a “hearty meal” at the sorority house consists of a 200 calorie Lean Cuisine or a “half salad” with low calorie dressing on the side. This is way alarming because the eating habits of one girl influences another—especially in a sorority environment—and results in a skewed perspective of “good eating habbits.”

Thus, I have made it my duty over the next fifteen weeks to prod, dissect, and scrutinize any and all things body image. I hope to highlight the sources of these societal pressures. My blog will attempt to break down body beauty into three categories: The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly. “The Good” posts will stress the significance of a healthy lifestyle with appropriate diet and exercise. I will rely on what I have learned in my kinesiology and psychology classes to give the most accurate definition and description of “healthy”. “The Bad” posts will be the ones that expose the sources of distorted body image for what they are with hopes of preventing girls from being brainwashed into believing they’re just not skinny enough. It is one thing to fight obesity, but telling a healthy size 2-10 girl that she is not slim enough is just plain dangerous. This is why I hope to shed some light on eating disorders with “The Ugly” posts. Clarification: I am not labeling eating disorders as “ugly.” What is ugly, though, is the nonchalant jokes about eating disorders thrown around by people who have no inkling of the pain and suffering associated with these illnesses. Let’s be real, people…There is simply nothing funny about eating disorders. So, all in all, I hope to utilize the web, my personal knowledge of body and mind, and this handy-dandy blog of mine to convince you, my dear friends, that true beauty cannot be determined by pant size.

I know we just met, and I do realize that I have already blown your mind by dropping some pretty overwhelming truth bombs and by bombarding you with questions, but the point is to get personal and keep you thinking, right?  Right! Just remember, it’s your body.

So, friend… I ask you once again (and answer honestly): Do you love your body?

Fact of the day: friendships are an essential ingredient for positive self-esteem.

Profile

Sometimes when you are just beginning a work of greatness, you need a little inspiration. I always find it helpful to sneak a quick peek at someone else’s work to help get those creative juices flowing—because hey…even Michelangelo needed a little help getting started with the Sistine Chapel.

After digging around the Internet for what feel like ages, I finally found THE ONE. And, ask anyone… finding THE ONE of anything is damn near impossible these days.  You would think that there would be more bloggers out there speaking thing mind about beauty and body image. Luckily, I found everything I could have wanted—and more—at Back in Skinny Jeans.

Back in Skinny Jeans was born in November 2005 to Stephanie “Steph” Quilao—the writer. Her blog focuses on weight loss, weight management, beauty, fashion, and pop culture. What stands about this blog is Steph’s ability to take all those topics and wrap them all up “in the spirit of healing, inspiration, and connection.” Since its inception, Steph has used her blog to share what she has learned through what she calls her “messy middle”—the trials and tribulations of going from fat to thin. She isn’t a professional or academic by any means; in fact, she informs her readers of this:

“I’m not a doctor, a life coach, therapist, or anything certified for that matter, so know that everything on this blog unless I interview a trained professional is my opinion based purely on my experience as a “patient” versus a healer. I have many healing qualities because I like to share what I have learned in my own healing journey.”

Instead of spitting out facts and theories, she gets personal with her followers; she establishes a relationship by divulging some of the emotional and traumatic events of her past in “Steph’s Life Story” posts. She has faced down Bulimia, date rape, depression, therapy, “happy pills,” and the list goes on… Suffice to say, Home-girl had some hard times, but look! She made it through in one piece, and so can we.  Despite her lack of scholarly credibility, I believe that the experiences are what make her just as qualified to comment and give advice to others—more so than say a squint who studied eating disorders at a university. She explains well with her zoo versus jungle analogy:

“I personally have learned more from others who have been through "the shit" rather than have studied it academically. For example going to the zoo and going to a jungle are two different things. Yes, both have wild animals, but your experience in both are radically different. Being in the jungle will teach you far more about yourself and what you are capable of than being in a controlled environment designed for your safety and entertainment.” 

Very wise words. As I was saying, the personal connection made me feeling like I already made a friend and confidant in Steph—a real person with real issues—is what compelled me to read on.

I completely admit to being on guard when looking through her site and posts for the first time, especially after noticing that she had come out with an iPhone application and has a book on the way. I had to make sure that before I crowned her Ms. All-knowing in my book that her site wasn’t another self-help kind of blog. The voice of her writing strangely reminded me of Oprah or Dr. Phil, and I just couldn’t get over the fact she retired her blog in January 2010 to make way for an iPhone app and book deal. On the other hand, it shows just how successful her blog has been, and as I continued to sift through her posts, I found myself relating to her more and opening up to her. After reading four or five posts, I felt that we had such a strong writer-reader bond that I was about to send her an email to ask her to be my BFF 4 LIFE and make it Facebook official. She had so many insightful facts and personal opinions to share with her followers. For example, who else would have been able to share The Leather Jacket Metaphor?

“People love old leather jackets because over time the jacket becomes more interesting and full of character after years of the leather being beaten up, abused, and weathered. The jacket feels more real and soft over time. Who wants a brand new, shiny, stiff, leather jacket? The imperfections is what makes the distressed version more desirable. Same thing with jeans and that favorite t-shirt.”

However, it was after reading Top 5 Ways to get rid of your muffin top without dieting that I realized, Wow! This woman would do just about anything to help people…Packaging tape to Insta-wrap fat, fascinating! That is a reason why she has had so many followers and comments on her blog over the years. She is a genuinely nice person, plain and simple. She writes out of the goodness of her heart with the purpose of helping others no in the fake “I’m Rich and Philanthropic” way; she will go great lengths to give the most supportive advice.

Well…now that the time has come for me to begin constructing my blog, I plan on following in Steph’s footstep. I figure, why fix something that isn’t broken? There is no need to change perfection. I will do all it takes build a bridge between you, the reader, and myself, by sharing personal experiences and hardships—anything necessary. However, what will set Lets BodyTALK apart from Back in Skinny Jeans will be writer’s voice. Even though I consider myself a nice person, I refuse to use some candy-coated overly optimistic tone that will make the blog content sound “holier than thou” or at all preach-y. I still hope readers feel that I long to positively impact their life one way or another, but, more importantly, I want readers to be able to relate to me and what I’m writing even if—especially if—they are not female or do not share the same issues. Alas, I do understand that sometimes it’s just hard to be REAL about such a touchy topic.

Anyways, wish me luck because here goes nothing…

Quote of the day: “In Buddhist philosophy it is said that great spirits are given very hard assignments in order to graduate them to higher levels. You have a choice to grow or contract, and, I chose to expand and advance. What are you going to choose?” –Stephanie Quilao, Back in Skinny Jeans

Voice Critique

SO…After sifting through like a bazillion blogs, I came to 2 significant realizations: 

1. All the blogs that covered body image/beauty just happened to be all about feminism. Therefore, the only logical thing to do was to yell in frustration—because I would never in a million years consider myself a feminist--go with the flow, and search for more feminist blogs. 

2. After reading said feminist blogs, the ones with a blunt and to some degree…just plain MEAN voice shining through were the ones that appealed to me the most.

I thought I found the perfect blog to profile when I came across Mean Feminism… Because Sometimes Feminists Aren’t Nice.  Vicious Vicky and Edith, the writers, had posts that were down right hilarious, such as “Why do nuns shave?” and “Being gay is not like being left-handed.” As entertaining as the posts were, I had a difficult time finding posts on the female perspective on body image or beauty. However, after searching through their “crushes," I found a blog that satisfied me… and what do you know?! It is our good friend Twisty Faster’s Blog, I Blame The Patriarchy. 

With each post I read, I fell more and more in love with her voice. Her writer's voice is casual, deadly ferocious with just the right amount of stinging sarcasm… I love it! No to worry though, despite her sassiness, she is still able to start out posts by including the reader and making them feel part of the "cool crew"—as seen in the first post that caught my attention: Scum: not the real enemy: 

“Sick of Beauty? Dang it, me too. That’s why I’m posting on it more or less nonstop.”

She makes the topic she is writing about relatable to her readers because… well, in all seriousness, who isn’t sick of talking about the meaning or definition of beauty, really? But, just when you think you are her equal and best friend, she reasserts her dominance as the writer by using provocative language, which completely blind-sides you as a reader. Her intimidating tone of voice is a way for her to make readers believe that she is a credible source, and at times, her voice makes her come off as a bully. She rarely ever eases up on the nasty voice in any of her posts, but...Hey! At the end of the day, it is her blog, and in this part of the internet, she is the all-knowing, all powerful feministe, Twisty!

“Dove called the models ‘real women.’ They were meant to appeal to potential dove butt-cream customers because the women were not the typical pubescent Slavic speedreak toothpick”

“Those 2004 Dove Models might have had a little meat on their bones, but the message was same shit, different day: ‘Hotness is king! Buy yours here!”

So angry…so mean… but from my point of view, her frustration and anger with yet another source of negative body image and feminine oppression becomes even more apparent with the cursing. Who doesn’t throw out a couple “shits” or f-bombs when they’re upset (or even just because they can)? Twisty is being REAL with us; her selective vocabulary and aggressive word choice makes me, as a reader, feel as if I am one of her many feminist friends that she so kindly included in the conversation—or in this case, rant. The candid, cut-throat, no-bullshit attitude of her writing is why we keep come back to her blog wanting more in the first place! So, why in God’s name would she stop now? 

In all fairness though, she is a bully to everyone--including herself. The vicious nature of her writing is for sure a way to maintain dominance, but it is also a way to poke fun at herself and others. She often refers to herself as "Spinster Aunt" throughout difference posts and post titles. From the sidelines, I think she does this to make fun of her nonexistent love life and show readers that she is so much of a feminist that she doesn't even need men in her life.

    The second post I reviewed from Twisty’s blog was “Spinster aunt casts jaundiced eye at popular television show.” Just with the title, her sarcastic, opinionated voice is revealed, yet again. I have never in my life heard someone use the phrase “ to cast [a] jaundiced eye,” perhaps “an disapproving eye” but never “jaundiced eye.” Twisty’s extreme word choice provides an entertaining quality of each of her rants too. To enhance and highlight her word choice, she sometimes uses alliteration as well: "They Flying Fickle Finger of Fashion will fuck you up." Her knack with words and painfully witty personality shines through as she criticizes "moron misogynist[s]."

In comparison to the previous post, this one was oozing with more sarcasm. Literally one sarcastic, insulting blow after another directed toward the a link posted on sheknows.com about the “Mad Men sensation that’s sweeping the nation [that] has many sicko antifeminist repercussions.” She includes snip-its of the article written and subsequently follows with her mocking comments, such as:

“That’s right, the standards have shifted again! You can gain 15 pounds, but not an ounce more, and you must now find a way to be hot and healthy but without muscle tone. Good luck!” 

As for formatting, most of her posts are in paragraph format and quite long--like go-on-for-days long. However, Twisty admits that her posts are quite lengthy and wordy, but she’s quite content with it. So, if she's okay with it, we are okay with it! (Plus, who wants to argue with her about it anyways--that's just asking for punishment.) I believe that her choice to continue writing long posts is both to show that she has just so much to say and this blog is her way of getting her opinions and comments out into the world. When no one in your life will listen to you, there sure as hell is someone out there on the internet that will listen to you and love every word of it—reminding readers, once again, how opinionated she is—and to give the finger to critics such as the blogsphere.

With every post, I am still trying new things, testing out new words in order to find my voice—the perfect fit for my blog. By reading and following Twisty's example, I hope to (someday) write posts as fearlessly as she does. I want to command my audience without being haunted by the worry of readers hating what I have to say or how I say it.

Feminist Fact of the day on "shitty shit that beauty does": "It infantilizes women, transforming them form humans into morons who seek baby-soft skin"